Californian dreaming becomes reality
Here's the lowdown on the research trip that informed my thinking about kids and smartphones.
I’m back!
The schedule was packed and the jet lag hit hard so it has taken me longer than expected to write my second edition of this newsletter. But what an experience - and a privilege - it was to take a month out of ‘real life’ and to travel and learn in this way.
We’ve had our fair share of holidays, but this was the first Big Trip for me since having kids a whole decade ago (when I used to be a keen traveller) and the last couple of times I flew long haul were ‘eventful’ to say the least. My last flight long haul (to India, for work) ended in me covered in sick after helping to resuscitate the unconscious, unbreathing man next to me, and the one before that ended in me pushing our broken-down car out of a ditch in a remote rainforest in Tobago, whilst five months pregnant. So, perhaps there was a touch of nerves as I left the family behind for this trip, hoping that all would go well and all the months of hard work and planning would pay off …
And there were hiccups, sure, but it was an incredible adventure and, oh, so worth it. I will be forever grateful to the Churchill Fellowship for their backing; I have taken away so much from the experience, and not just a renewed love of basketball and sunburnt ankles! I now feel I have enough knowledge to get well and truly off the fence when it comes to the topic of smartphones and kids, and I am hyped to share my learning with you.
Before we start, a heads up that this will not be the typical format. Future newsletters will explore a wide range of topics that interest like wellness, work, parenting, performance, and childhood in general, not just smartphones (as that would get very dry!) but for now I wanted to simply share what I got up to out there, so people have a sense of where some of my ideas and opinions have been formulated.
So, here goes …
Week One – Silicon Valley culture, parenting and schooling.
After a delay caused a missed connection, I had an unexpected stopover in Paris airport (there had to be some drama!) but soon enough I arrived in my cozy studio flat in San Jose. My bijou AirBnB was in the garden of a retired woman who worked as a translator for Apple, so she was the perfect host and it was fascinating to hear her reflections of the intense working culture and the resulting, inevitable burnout it caused.
Over the week I visited three schools that serve the local tech community (two private fee-paying, one state school), including the now famous Waldorf School of the Peninsula, which is well-reported as the ironically tech-free school of choice for high-powered Silicon Valley technologists. I also visited Tech Interactive museum, a thought-provoking art exhibition about memory and technology at San Jose Museum of Art, and a Teen Tech Centre opening up creative digital opportunities to the local community. Across the week I met with parents, students, teachers, and even the producer of a film and I really got a sense of how technology is baked into the culture around here, and the challenges and opportunities that throws up.
By Sunday, my mind was blown and felt the trip already worth it and yet there was still so much ahead…
Week Two – Exploring the impact of phones on kids in San Fran.
My husband, Alex, and daughters, Tilly (7) and Esmie (10), arrived two days later than planned after somewhat predictably, but no less stressfully, also missing their connection in Paris! I was sad to spend Easter weekend alone (more on loneliness vs wilful solitude in a future article) but it was delightful to wander San Fran’s shopping district unfettered by kids clinging on my arms, and it gave me the time to prep for all my interviews well ahead of schedule, so it was all good.
In San Fran I visited Futures Without Violence, a non-profit helping to combat the youth mental health crisis and prevent teen dating violence amongst other things, and I even got a sneak peek at their new Courage Museum. I was also extremely fortunate to attend the book launch of The Anxious Generation which was co-hosted by Tristan Harris of Social Dilemma fame (if you haven’t watched it yet, do it tonight!) and briefly meet author Jonathan Haidt, who has rapidly become the global face of the anti-smartphone movement… If you don’t already subscribe to his newsletter, After Babel, you must.
The Churchill Fellowship encourages you to make the most of your travels and take some (self-funded) holiday time, so after a crazy busy start to the trip, we took in an incredible basketball match (more on my admiration for American sports culture to come) before travelling on to Yosemite national park for a few days to get offline and into nature. And into nature we most definitely went … an unseasonable snowstorm and white-out conditions meant we did not see any of the famous sights, but instead we learned how to fit snow chains to tyres with numb hands, how (not) to steer when you hit ice, and how much joy a hot tub in the snow can bring! It was a real adventure, one I hope we and the kids will remember for a long time.
Week Three – Fact-checking & formalising my views in LA.
This week, we swapped snowy peaks for a seven-hour drive to the sunny shores of Los Angeles.
I visited The Journey School, a popular state school based on the Waldorf philosophy, where Diana Graber was inspired to write her book, Raising Humans in a Digital World, and create the organisation CyberWise. It was fantastic to hear more about their programme, digital citizenship programme, CyberCivics, all about upskilling children to survive and thrive, in the digital world.
Dr Sophie Janicke Bowles is an expert in the curious combination of social media and happiness and was a tutor on my course when I trained as a Digital Wellness Educator with Digital Wellness Institute earlier this year. On the course Sophie seemed positive about the potential of technology in our lives and had some interesting insights into how parental attitudes to social media impact their children, so I it was great to dig into this with her and hear more about how she plans to raise her own young son in the digital era.
Also this week I met Stephen Schueller, Associate Professor of Psychological Science and Informatics at the University of California, Irvine (and – perhaps even more relevantly - father of tween triplets!), who is interested in how technology can be used as a tool to improve our lives, especially how it can help more people access to mental health support. It was great to hear more about the other side of the digital coin from Stephen, especially about how ethical tech can level the playing field of opportunities for underserved groups, and connect people to one another and support.
Meeting Sophie and Stephen was important to me to help apply some academic rigour when forming my own view on the impact of smartphones on young lives because I am cynical of moral panics and am not one for sucking up others’ views without my own strong fact-checking. Learning more about their research areas revealed to me the benefits of technology when it is deployed as a tool, but by the end of this week, my opinions have crystallized, and I have surprised myself how strong - and some might say hardline – they have become.
After researching this for the last couple of years and trying to suspend my judgment the whole time, I now cannot conclude anything other than there is simply no other explanation for the teen mental health crisis (and, yes, it is a crisis) and I am no longer willing to shrug my shoulders and sigh at the inevitability of it all.
We ended the week with a trip to Disneyland California, which was both fantastical and completely overwhelming for the senses! I am super grateful we have had the opportunity to go, and simultaneously glad we won’t be doing it again for a very long time (ever?)!
Week Four – Gathering ideas and inspiration in San Diego.
We spent our final few days in stunning San Diego, recovering from this whirlwind of a trip with some chilled beach days and two final, very special meetings.
On Monday, I met the lovely Claudia Erikson, Founder of Unplugged Village and Co-Founder of Unplugged Collaborative and the Global Day of Unplugging, who suggested that we meet in a beautiful cove popular with the locals so the kids could play freely … she even brought toys for the kids to play with! I would summarise Claudia’s philosophy for inspiring social change as ‘show not tell’; she consciously focuses on what we want to move towards and what we want more of (meaningful in real life connection, being in the present, joy), rather than always focusing on the negative things we are trying to move away from, which can be so draining and divisive. I left our beach-side meeting feeling positively energised and excited, full of ideas for how to bring people together with fun ideas for connecting in our communities offline – and with terribly sunburnt ankles!
Tuesday, my final day before the long journey home, brought the great privilege of meeting Dr Larry Rosen near his home in Solana beach. Dr Rosen is an undisputed expert on the impact of technology on young people, with four decades of research and multiple books on the topic, including iDisorder (explaining our obsession with technology), TechnoStress (how to cope with technology), and most recently, The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World (spoiler alert – smartphones are too much for our poor old minds to handle!)
Recently retired, Dr Rosen was so generous with his time and knowledge, and I learned as much from his personal stories about his own family’s experiences, as I did from quizzing him on his academic research. In fact, after getting home I immediately implemented a parenting strategy he suggested to promote positive behaviour with my kids, which seems to be working brilliantly so far, and I will write about once the experiment is complete!
After leaving Dr Rosen, I joined my family on the beach, where they had been happily playing for hours on the stunning cliff-lined, Californian coast. It was a real ‘pinch myself’ moment, because it meant that the research trip was officially complete; the Californian dream had come true. But even more than that, it was a lifestyle goal realised. I always hoped that one day I would find a way to combine family life with my professional interests and my personal love of travel, although for some years I didn’t know quite how that could work. Whilst this trip may well be a one-off, it marked a moment in time for me personally, in which certain lifestyle choices paid off.
This started with becoming my own boss four years ago, which gave me more freedom over my own time; my husband doing the same two years ago has been even better for us, as a family. Experimenting with some more creative projects like my Childhood Heroes podcast opened my eyes to a different, less formal and more fun way to learn and work. And around the same time, getting Captain Barnacles, our campervan, opened the door to fun, affordable overland family adventures.
This trip was inspired by all of the above and despite being more work to pull-off than I imagined, it has generated so many benefits to me as an individual, as a parent, and for my work.
That being said, four weeks away was enough, and it felt amazing to get back home, to our local community, see friends and family, and slot back into comfortable routines. I’ve filled my metaphorical cup and am now ready to pour it into my kids, my writing and my clients … who knows what will unfold next!
If you’re reading this and thinking that you’d fancy a trip like this yourself, on a topic of your own choosing, I have brilliant news because the next round of Churchill Fellowship applications open in September! All you need is a good idea and the passion to make it happen, and next year it could well be you. If you are considering it, do get in touch, I’ll be happy to discuss.
Thanks for reading and see you next time.
Laura
Ps. For those that read my first post where I reflect on phones on flights, please know that yes, we absolutely watched films the whole way home, pausing just long enough to admire the view and for me to deliver the kids a small speech about the miracle of human flight... Naturally, the kids weren’t impressed. However, on the plus side, I did discover package of pure joy that is the (not so new) film, Little Miss Sunshine. I couldn’t hold back the laughter, which my kids found hilarious on our quiet flight! Strong recommend if you fancy a laugh and a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
I feel so honored that you included me among your stops in California! It was such a pleasure hearing about your work and getting to share the work we get to do through Global Day of Unplugging and the Unplugged Village Initiative. Excited to partner with you down the road :)